I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
