i think i have herpe
just one?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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