alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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