Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I heard we made out
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
