So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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