I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize