Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We are all done wearing pants today
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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