is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
