Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize