Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
