What did we do last night that was yellow?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
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