So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
