Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
