TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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