guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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