if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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