i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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