Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
