I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
