is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
