I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
