turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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