My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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