Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize