didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
