Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize