at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
