sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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