Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize