It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
