If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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