i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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