Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
