Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize