1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This is the high leading the old right now
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize