your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We are two peas in an std pod
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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