weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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