I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
