She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize