I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
