even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
