Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
