Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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