YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
high people should be assigned attendants
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize