I love black thongs
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
