This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
