he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
