y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
