Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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