That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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