what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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