oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
