we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
