i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
