Non-Jews are for practice
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize