I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
