I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
