Sry I called you an 8
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
