k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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