If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
