Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
