i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You made out with two different species that night
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
