You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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