I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
