We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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