So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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