At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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