I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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