You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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